Writing a History—Decide What to Include

One of the biggest dilemmas of the personal or family history writer is deciding what to include, what to gloss over, and what to leave out entirely. This can be a sensitive issue, especially if there are differing opinions within the family. Here is my basic advice on how to handle sensitive information:

Write it all down first.

Write your story in its entirety. Include everything. This draft is for your eyes only, so don’t worry about offending anyone while you write this. Writing your story down will help you understand exactly what story you want to tell. You can weed out problem areas later on.

Think about your audience.

Are you writing this just for your own family to read? Will it be published online or in print? These are important considerations before you move on to revising. The fact of the matter is, whatever you write could be read more widely than you intend.

Also consider the impact that omitting certain information would have on the narrative. Make sure that your reader isn’t going to feel like they’re missing something. For example, if it’s important to your story to mention that your Great-Uncle Joe had a drinking problem, then make sure you include it! That doesn’t mean you have to go into great detail about all of Uncle Joe’s indiscretions. If you’re unsure how to sensitively mention something, consult your editor.

Know the legal ramifications.

If you’re writing anything that could be considered defamatory or libelous, tread very carefully. If the person you’re writing about is deceased, you can write just about anything you want to about them. But consider possible ramifications if that person’s family were to read what you’ve written. Sometimes the best course is to change identifying details to avoid harm, or only refer to certain people by their initials. This must be taken on a case-by-case basis.

When it comes to writing anything that could be damaging for a living person, it’s best to consult an attorney to help protect yourself from lawsuits. Do not publish something that could damage a person’s reputation or livelihood without a legal consultation!

Consider the value.

Once you’ve made sure that you’re protected from a legal standpoint, consider the value of the information you are considering publishing. Some sensitive information about your forebears (such as health information, spiritual experiences, criminal histories) could be valuable to family members now or in the future. But publishing sensitive information that doesn’t have a direct impact on your personal or family story may not be as useful.

When in doubt, consult your editor.

Professional editors generally have experience and resources to help you in these matters. Often, an impartial set of eyes will be enough to help you make a decision regarding the sensitive material. For particularly complex issues, consider consulting an editor who specializes in sensitivity reading!

Where to Begin

If you’re looking to begin writing your own history, the first thing to know is that there is no wrong way to do it. The important part is to begin. You don’t have to start with your birth and end with today. Start anywhere you like and organize it later on. Look online for prompts to get the memories flowing. Here are a few links to help you get started:

• This Is Me Challenge: This is an older blog, but it is a great resource for prompts. There is also a section with information on starting a history for your kids as well.

• FamilySearch Blog: On the FamilySearch Blog, look for “52 Stories.” This includes prompts for each week of the year to help you write about different aspects of your life. There is also a list called “52 Stories for Families,” to help you write the story of your family.

• Writing Through Life: For more in-depth writing advice on writing a memoir or history, check out this site. It has a wealth of information about how to turn memories into stories that others will enjoy reading.

A personal history could become an endless project, as every day there is more to add. Instead of being discouraged by the project, try to embrace and celebrate any progress you make. Something is better than nothing. Break it into parts. And when you come to the end of a section, hire an editor to help you with clarity and consistency. It’s worth it because every life story is worth reading. Editing can help make yours more readable. Future generations will thank you!

Get started.

Then get help.